Back-to-school season is full of sharpened pencils, new routines, and those first-day pictures that make everyone a little misty-eyed. For kids, it’s a time of excitement, nerves, and transition. But what doesn’t get talked about is how an anxious attachment style can affect how you navigate this shift too.
If you’re a mom with an anxious or insecure attachment style, these transitions can stir up old wounds: fear of disconnection, worry about your child’s wellbeing, or pressure to hold everything together perfectly. The truth is, back-to-school isn’t just about your child adjusting; it’s about you adjusting too.
Why Back-to-School Triggers Attachment Wounds
Attachment wounds often surface during times of transition. Sending your child off to school—whether it’s preschool or high school—can activate feelings of loss, fear, or even rejection. These moments may echo early experiences of separation, unpredictability, or not feeling emotionally safe in your own childhood.
It makes sense that your nervous system feels heightened right now. This isn’t about being “too much” or “overly sensitive.” It’s your body’s way of saying: Hey, this feels familiar and a little scary.
Despite these triggers, you can learn to support yourself while supporting your child.
How to Support Yourself (So You Can Support Your Child)
1. Normalize Your Feelings
Your emotions make sense. Naming and validating them (“I’m feeling anxious because transitions feel hard for me”) softens the shame spiral. If you need extra support in this season, consider exploring my therapy services for moms here. Together we can untangle these triggers and build tools for emotional regulation.
2. Create Predictable Rituals
Attachment wounds calm when predictability is present. Try creating a simple drop-off ritual (like a special hug, handshake, or mantra) that reassures both you and your child. This not only soothes your nervous system but also strengthens your child’s sense of security.
3. Regulate Your Body
Our bodies often carry old attachment stress. Somatic practices can help. Try this:
- Place one hand on your heart, the other on your belly.
- Inhale slowly to the count of four, imagining safety filling your body with a beautiful, sparkling light.
- Exhale to the count of six, releasing tension.
- Repeat several times.
This simple practice helps send a “you’re safe” signal to your nervous system. I teach many other nervous system regulation tools inside my Anxious to Secure: Healing Your Anxious Attachment course–if you’re ready to go deeper in creating lasting change.
4. Find Your Support Team
Transitions can feel isolating. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a mom group, or professional support, don’t carry this alone.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
Remember, you’re learning alongside your child. If you find yourself extra teary at drop-off, you’re not weak—you’re human. You’re doing the hard, beautiful work of showing up for your child and yourself.
Final Thoughts
Back-to-school is a transition for the whole family. When you tend to your own emotions and create a felt sense of safety within yourself, you model resilience for your child.
And if you want more tools to help you regulate your emotions and heal attachment wounds, don’t miss my free Anxious Attachment Healing Guide. It’s full of practical strategies to support your nervous system and move toward secure attachment.
You may also like my blog: How Transitions Trigger Attachment Wounds (And What to Do About It).
You’ve got this. And you don’t have to do it alone.
About The Author
Hannah Dorsher, MA, LPC, NCC, CAT, EMDR is a Therapist and Relationship & Attachment Coach in Fort Collins, CO who specializes in helping those struggling with anxiety, self-esteem, toxic/unhealthy relationships, attachment issues, break ups, and trauma. I provide therapy with clients in CO and FL, and I provide attachment coaching for dating, marriage & motherhood to clients across the globe!! Check out my Anxious Attachment course: Anxious to Secure—Healing Your Anxious Attachment—here.
